[Back to Social Challenges]

Introduction

This is, for many people, a very difficult area to talk about:

• people have very strong and entrenched views;
• it triggers strong emotions;
• it connects private choice and public policy;
• the language we use is often problematic for one group or another; and
• various groups are frequently advocating deliberately inconsistent principles and strategies.

If we can agree even a framework in which conversations can be held, this could be seen as a considerable achievement.  One attempt to provide a framework can be found here: Three Kinds of Sex.

There are some obvious conflicts - not just differences of opinion, or disagreements about the principles which should be applied, but conflicts about how to understand the basic concepts we have to use when we talk about these matters.

• There is a conflict between many feminists and most trans people about what it means to be female, the use of language and the availability of public facilities.
• There is a conflict between those who reject the traditional binary male-female divide, and people who affirm it as a fundamental distinction but wish to change from one to the other.

There is a fundamental disconnect within our society concerning sex - specifically, concerning the physical act of sex.

• On the one hand, we have cast off the antiquated religious taboos: sex is just a simple physical act, a stress reliever, having no more moral consequence than going to the toilet or blowing your nose; sex outside marriage is no longer sinful and shameful, and rules about who is allowed to have sex with who are seen as laughable, maybe even harmful; sexual boundaries (the limits which decide what acts are socially acceptable) are extending all the time.
• But, on the other hand, rape and sexual assault are still seen as wrong: the rules of acceptable behaviour are getting more restrictive and are being more actively policed; in some countries, legal changes now enable the criminal prosecution of activity which used to be regarded as normal - but, of course, in other countries, women are still punished for allowing themselves to be raped.
• And the distinction between acceptable and unacceptable sexual contact depends largely on the question of consent, but different places have very different ideas about the 'age of consent', and consent itself is not the clear, binary distinction which the legal system requires (see the short article about Consent).

Sex feels like a 'given', something we are unable to change, but a large part of sex is driven by culture and expectation, and it changes significantly over time - in the modern world, over surprisingly short periods of time.  For an example of this change, see an article by Olivia Petter in the Independent: "How celibacy is revolutionising people’s sex lives".

Questions

Here are some questions which have been suggested as ones we may want to explore.

• What is homophobia - and, just as important, what is it not?
• Consent.  The principle that sex should be consensual is a good one, but what does this mean in the real world? In the messy details of human relationships, things are rarely clear-cut. We have pressures, preferences and obligations, we make assumptions about other people, their actions, beliefs and motives.  Ignorance, awkwardness, social baggage and embarrassment frequently interfere with clear communication, especially when it involves sex.
• Consent is not the only moral principle - so what else should limit sexual activity?  (For example, most people feel that cheating on your partner is immoral, but should not be illegal.)
• The attitude to sex in most Western societies was fundamentally changed by easy access to effective contraception.  But what happens when the contraception fails?  Many people consider the act of consentual sex as morally unimportant and consequence-free, but far fewer people consider abortion to be morally unimportant and consequence-free.
• How does the reality of sexually-transmitted diseases affect the perception of consentual sex as morally unimportant and consequence-free?  This question is important anywhere, but it is especially important in places with no effective treatment for AIDS.
• What is (and what should be) the role of the law in determining valid sexual activity?  (It has been argued that the law should "stay out of the bedroom", but most people seem to feel that sex with a minor should be illegal, even if there are arguments about how to determine the age of consent.)
• How should societies decide on the age of consent?
• At what age should puberty blocking hormones be given to young trans people, and under what circumstances?
• What is the morality surrounding BDSM sex?  What should the public policy be?
• Are arranged marriages acceptable?  And, if they are not acceptable, how arranged does it have to be in order to become unacceptable?  (And, when thinking about this, where do television programs which arrange and broadcast marriages between people who have never met fit into this picture?)
• What is (should be) the role of a parent when a child is struggling with their sexual or gender identification? 
• How should pornography be regulated - if at all?  What is the rationale behind the legal measures which prevent children from viewing adults engaged in sexual activity?  (All the evidence is that young people are harmed by this restriction, not protected by it.)
• Should prostitution be legal; how should it be regulated or punished?
• How much is the sex industry (roughly: pornography, prostitution and strip clubs) exploiting women, and how much is it empowering them and providing a valid source of income?
• Do the same issues apply to male workers in the sex industry, and, if not, what should be the differences?
• What regulation should limit the location and activities of shops selling 'adult material' and venues offering 'adult entertainment'?
• Is nakedness really a sin?  (The simple answer is that nakedness in the Bible is clearly not a sin, but many Christian groups have subsequently chosen to treat it as one; other religions vary considerably in their attitude to the human body.  In any case, discussion of nakedness does not really belong in this context.)
• Male-dominated societies tend to ignore the female sex drive, and seek to control female bodies - what happens to them and what they are allowed to look like.  What, in practical terms, can be done to change this?  And females often seem to be as keen on controlling other females as the males are, so it seems to be more than just a problem caused by male domination (see Naked Feminism for more on this).
• How do we distinguish sexual harassment from normal flirting between grown ups? 
• Where does Female Genital Mutilation fit into this area?

Personal Views and Background

• Church Times article: "Jesus holding my hand has been the most powerful force in my life" Two gay priests of different generations talk about the challenges that they have faced in their ministry.
• Time article: "'Stories Can Be War.' How Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Viral Essay Has Implications Far Beyond the Literary World" (July 2021)
• Big Think: "How the ancient Greeks viewed pederasty and homosexuality"
• Caitlin O'Ryan reading her poem, 'At What Point?'